Dayton resident Juanita-Michelle Darden is a mother, grandmother, educator, entrepreneur and community connector. She owns the Third Perk Coffeehouse and Wine Bar. For mental health support, call 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.
I am the mother of a grown son struggling with Mental Health — a health crisis treated as a non-health problem due to the symptoms spread in a spectrum of so-called behavioral disorders.
It carries a negative stigma that forces many into isolation and denial.
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I refuse to take this position with my son.
I call it that. I treat mental illness with the same care that I would treat any other medical condition. People struggling with mental illness all around me. They are also all around you.
‘They’ make you smile
Nearly 50 million Americans suffered from a mental illness in 2019, according to the 2022 State of Mental Health in America Report from Mental Health America, a nonprofit organization that focuses on mental health and mental illness.
The person in pain can entertain you on your television screen.
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The death by suicide of this cool DJ from “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, Boss of Stephen ‘tWitch’, sparked a conversation about mental health – especially among black men.
Based on all the social media posts related to his death, he was loved.
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“I am heartbroken. tWitch was pure love and light. He was my family and I loved him with all my heart. I will miss him. Please send your love and support to Allison and her beautiful children – Weslie , Maddox and Zaia, FromGeneres wrote on Instagram.
This talented man reminded me of a slimmer version of one of my nephews.
tWitch flashed a hell of a smile and danced his back. This kind of energy brings joy to most of us.
Smiling and dancing can trick others around you into thinking you’re fine. You must be happy, right?
In reality, this act could become exhausting. Having to give the world what it expects of you can be too much to handle.
‘They’ are someone you know
Often a person suffers in the face.
According to Mental Health AmericaOhio is among the states Where adults have a higher prevalence of mental illness and lower rates of access to care.
Maybe she’s the friend who shops till she drops even though she can’t afford it.
She has no food in the fridge and looks fine outside. Maybe the floors of her house are littered with the same clothes you admire.
She suffers.
The friend with the rapid weight change (up or down) might face depression.
Maybe it’s the friend trying to do the right thing about them – that annoying person who says, “yeah, I got it, I’ve been there, I know how to do that.”
They look happy from the outside, don’t they?
Maybe it’s the social butterfly who’d rather hang out with people who might not care about them, than alone with the voices in their head.
I bet if you started paying attention, you’ll notice how common mental disorders are.
“They” can be you.
It’s not just about them and what they or they cross. Now this is where it gets a little tricky. I dare you to get help.
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It’s my son.
As the parent of a grown son, I have made calls, visited hospitals, spoken to community organizations, and appealed to my family and friends to understand that this is a disease.
I remind them of the young man they once knew. There is a difference between him and the disease.
Each case is different.
Many manage their “problems” better. But the silent ones, the ones who don’t ask for help, are the very ones you should be afraid of. No one knows they’re in trouble, but that trouble could be very dangerous.
Ask them to roll up those long sleeves and you might just see their pain.
Pay attention.
People are suffering right under your nose, my nose.
Dayton resident Juanita-Michelle Darden is a mother, grandmother, educator, entrepreneur and community connector. She owns the Third Perk Coffeehouse and Wine Bar. For mental health support, call 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.
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